Mold Me.

There is always a reason for the order of events God places in our lives. Even in times when nothing seems to be happening, he is molding us strategically because he is a magnificent Potter and we are the clay.
How is he molding you right now in this season?

It's easy to believe that in some seasons nothing is happening, nothing is significant enough to be molding you. God has a plan though and he doesn't use those seasons to keep us stagnant and far away from his "real plan". I feel like often we think this happens. In these times it's most important to take hold of what God's placed in front of you instead of spending all of your time worrying about the future. He is molding something wonderful, and has amazing plans for you. Later you will look back and see how this season of waiting was in fact a season of intricate molding.

Potter's Wheel By Daniel Bashta

Make me, shape me
into everything
that you want me to be
Make me, and shape me
into everything
that you want me to be

So place me on the potter's wheel,
Spin me until
there's nothing left but you in my life
'Cause brokeness is what I want
to do a work here in my heart
So when you look at me
you see your reflection

So form me, come fashion me
into everything that you want me to be
So form me, come fashion me
into everything that you want me to be and more

Oh, you see your reflection
Oh, you see your reflection

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Lord you're always faithful.

This post is long overdue but I feel like it is necessary to post prior to my Peru trip.

The Lord PROVIDES.
Even in our doubting he provides.
Even in our unbelief he is good, he reigns.
He knows what is absolute best for each of his children.
The Lord cherishes you.
He longs for you to live a life inspired by the passions he's instilled in your heart.

It was a Tuesday in January and I was waiting to hear back from Teach For America.I checked my email early, just in case. I found out that the results were posted-a lot  and I was not chosen. It was quite a heartbreaking moment, because I really put a lot into the whole process, and felt confident that there was no reason why I shouldn't get a position. Needless to say, for a couple of days after that I was quite hard on myself. I had known for sure that was the Lord's plan for me, and was confused as to why it had panned out differently than expected.  The fact that I get to work at camp again was the only thing positive about it.

God why me, again? I constantly thought.  It's just never easy.

The same day I had a Peru meeting, where we would be finding out the total we needed to fund raise in the next two weeks.

 "Great, now I'm not going to get to do this either." I thought. "There's no way I can raise $1300 when all I have right now is $100".

 I thought that going on the trip was just a tease.

So the next night at wesley, I was not in a very worshipful mood to say the least. I pretty much spent the whole service just sitting there. I was not about to be joyful. I was upset and disappointed in myself. One of my friends told me to come see them during the service, so I did. They handed me an envelope and told me to open it whenever- so clearly being in the mood I was in I just went back to my seat with the envelope in my hand. I was not about to open a note that was encouraging- I didn't want to be encouraged, I just wanted to mope. Later on, my friend came over and asked if I had opened the envelope. "No" I said. They encouraged me to open it, so I did. I started reading the encouraging note- though I didn't want to hear the words. Then I opened the second flap of the notebook paper.....

and found a check. I was astonished. I can't be reading this correctly, I thought. Nobody would want to give ME $1000. But wait, it was $1000, and they did want to give it to me. WOW, i didn't know what to say/do.  Even in my doubt the Lord was so faithful. 

I was instantly filled with so much more hope. He knew just the moment when I needed the great encouragement his provision brings. I never thought I'd have a provision story, but now I do. AND it doesn't stop there.

The next week I went to my Peru meeting to find out another person had provided me with $250 for the trip. It wasn't even someone who I know super well. I was becoming more and more confident that I'm supposed to go on this trip.

The next week a friend gave $365, another friend gave $60 and yet another $200. Yes, that means in the course of ONLY 2 WEEKS I went from having $100 for my trip, to having $2060 (and the trip cost was only $1800). Thus, with the $200 I got to bless another team member. 

And I thought the Lord wouldn't provide. What was I thinking.

Now I'm leaving for Peru in the morning, I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store.

I will climb this mountain with my arms wide open.

A prayer of surrender as the seasons change. It's all you Lord, my arms are wide open. I can only climb this mountain with my heart and life fully surrendered to you....

It's all you Lord. You are my everything in my time of waiting. There is nothing I can do apart from you.  You know I have dreams and passions- because you have placed those in my heart. You wait to reveal yourself beause of the intricacy of your plan. As I have learned so much recently, it is all in your timing.  Please come even closer to me in my waiting.

I know that you have made promises to all of your children. You long for me to draw into deeper communion with you each day. May I thirst for you as a deer thirsts for water. Even when I cannot see I want to be able to say- "Here I a Lord, send me". I don't want to limitations I have for myself to get in the way of the magnificent plan that you have for me.

Teach me how to pray, Father. I know that I don't fully walk in all fot he authority that I can as I pray. I don't spend time praying for big things in confidence. As a new season is on the horizon, I pray that I won't limit myself to little prayers, but will let you consume me and I will pray with trust that you can do more than I could ever ask or imagine. I know you work everything out for the good of those who love you- always. Teach me how to pray more and more each day.

Also, as I get anxious about the future, I desire to press into your Word. This week has made the bible come more alive to me and I want to continue in curiousity of the truth that you have to speak to me in it right now. I know you can encourage me so much in your Word, and I pray that I am receptive to the truth it holds.

For anyone in a season of waiting, I pray that the Lord encourages you today! You are loved and God has so much in store for your life. As life unfolds, don't forget to thank Him for all of the things he does.

Anticipation

When life seems stagnant, it's not for long. Change comes before you're ready, or when you're ready but you don't know how to brace yourself for the different.It's unknown and exciting, but scary too. When you don't know what's next, time seems to be at a stand-still for so long. It seems that anxiety and worry creep up.

But we always need to remember the truth. Everything works together for the good of those who love the Lord. He loves us and is a giving God.

I know the Lord has me, knows my passions, and will not neglect to provide. He has a great plan for my life. It doesn't always look like I want it to at first, but he always uses where im placed to draw me closer to him in different ways. I know he will use this next season for that, wherever I am.

His plan is not always my plan A. Sometimes it is. Either way may He be glorified through me.

Just as the many colors of leaves....

This season reminds me of thankfulness. I can't help but think of the many reasons why I am thankful for the people God has placed in my life for this very season. Here are some things that motivate my heart to nothing but thankfulness...

*random text messages of encouragement, joy, or that just make me smile
*time together, even if the only thing we are doing together is studying
* hugs
*laughter
*free coffee, such a blessing
*taking time out of their busy schedule to spend quality time together doing something we love
* making an effort to check up on me even when I haven't said a word to them in forever
*Enthusiasm
*taking pictures together, painting together, going for walks
*serving- asking if there's anything they can do to help


I feel like I could go on and on writing specific ways that make me feel so much gratitude. I have some of the best friends in the entire world.  Thank you Lord for placing them in my life right now for such a time as this :)

When it's hard to find the words...

Well, leaving camp and going into the "real world" always takes some adjusting. When people ask me how my summer was, I can never conjure up the right words to express my love for camp. But, every time people ask me about my summer it never fails that  as I talk up a storm, I realize I could try and explain all that camp is and they would never fully understand. Strong Rock does that- it's an experience that leaves you speechless and full of words at the same time. You know that unless someone has experienced it too, all of the explanations, crazy stories and random inside jokes will never make sense to them. That's why we're a family. Families have bonds that nobody else understands, so here is an ode to that incredible family, Strong Rock 2011..

I feel like this summer we got to know each other so well, and really took the time to invest in each other day in and day out. It made a difference. I don't think I could've gotten through some days without the love and support of so many fellow staff members. There were times when unity was shaken and our level of energy dwindled, but God remained the center and I could tell that Strong Rock's mission statement rung true in each and every staff member's hearts, the Lord was our motivation and nothing stands stronger.

From Ladies (wink) to the ocassional crazy costume (jk, I mean all the time) people from the outside world would definitely think we were crazy. I mean, we throw socks at people for fun. Just sayin.

My awesome Awahili tribe members hold a special place in my heart. I absolutely love their spirit and enthusiasm, and all around Pride for their Tribe :)  Things ended on such a wonderful note, and God got us through all of our rough patches. I know that without them I wouldn't be as thankful. I must say that "which field is my fav???" constantly is on replay in my head. Not to mention, never say never, all you need is blue, a waya no, and somewhere over the waya eagles fly (to name a few)....When I sing those outloud I know that people outside of the camp world look at me funny.

I'd like to give  a shout out to all of the girl cabin staff:
Thank you for accepting me as me and for being such incredible sisters in the Lord. Each and every one of you has helped me to grow in Him.

Willow, your incredible ability to talk to little girls and dedicate your all to them is inspiring, along with your willingness to got he extra mile even when it might be more difficult


Broadway, you love to listen, are filled with the Lord's joy and are not afraid to be yourself which I think made you an amazing role model to your Pebblebrookers.

Hugs, I love how you live each day dedicated to the Lord's truth and the power of His word, it is evident in the way you lead your campers to a relationship with God




Muggle, your constant enthusiasm for life was contagious and your spontaneity just made things fun and exciting all of the time, and I bet your Lakeside girls enjoyed that as much as we did as a staff :)

Apple, your gentle spirit, ability to listen and constant dedication to your girls made it easy for them to talk to you I'm sure.




Button, you are just full of life and are so full of wisdom for those Waters Edge girls, its beautiful to watch you discipling them

Pistol, your freedom in the Lord and openness are so helpful to me, and I absoutely love how dedicated you are to camp and what it means





**The shout outs will continue on camp post number 3, coming soon!

Camp, an experience that is hard to put in words

How do I start this epic entry series about the amazing Strong Rock Camp...
right now it's one of the hardest things to do...

...It seems too soon to be writing about my 2011 camp experience, because in writing about it that means it has come to an end. I hate it when camp comes to an end.
It's an experience that has the potential of captivating the essence of the butterfly effect, of changing the world.
An experience of being unaware in the moment, but pouring out in humility and even sometimes seeing the fruit that comes from abiding in the Lord.
An experience based on the simple yet complex ideas  of loving unconditionally and being loved in return.
An experience that doesn't compare to any other.

There  is no other place and group of people that I cry about leaving as much as when I leave camp. There is no other place where I have felt an immense amount of encouragement, joy, and freedom in the Lord.

Simply, Strong Rock is a place incomparable to any other....

This entry serves as an introduction...but just that, it will take many more days to write about all of camp, so stay tuned...