The Lord PROVIDES.
Even in our doubting he provides.
Even in our unbelief he is good, he reigns.
He knows what is absolute best for each of his children.
The Lord cherishes you.
He longs for you to live a life inspired by the passions he's instilled in your heart.
It was a Tuesday in January and I was waiting to hear back from Teach For America.I checked my email early, just in case. I found out that the results were posted-a lot and I was not chosen. It was quite a heartbreaking moment, because I really put a lot into the whole process, and felt confident that there was no reason why I shouldn't get a position. Needless to say, for a couple of days after that I was quite hard on myself. I had known for sure that was the Lord's plan for me, and was confused as to why it had panned out differently than expected. The fact that I get to work at camp again was the only thing positive about it.
God why me, again? I constantly thought. It's just never easy.
The same day I had a Peru meeting, where we would be finding out the total we needed to fund raise in the next two weeks.
"Great, now I'm not going to get to do this either." I thought. "There's no way I can raise $1300 when all I have right now is $100".
I thought that going on the trip was just a tease.
So the next night at wesley, I was not in a very worshipful mood to say the least. I pretty much spent the whole service just sitting there. I was not about to be joyful. I was upset and disappointed in myself. One of my friends told me to come see them during the service, so I did. They handed me an envelope and told me to open it whenever- so clearly being in the mood I was in I just went back to my seat with the envelope in my hand. I was not about to open a note that was encouraging- I didn't want to be encouraged, I just wanted to mope. Later on, my friend came over and asked if I had opened the envelope. "No" I said. They encouraged me to open it, so I did. I started reading the encouraging note- though I didn't want to hear the words. Then I opened the second flap of the notebook paper.....
and found a check. I was astonished. I can't be reading this correctly, I thought. Nobody would want to give ME $1000. But wait, it was $1000, and they did want to give it to me. WOW, i didn't know what to say/do. Even in my doubt the Lord was so faithful.
I was instantly filled with so much more hope. He knew just the moment when I needed the great encouragement his provision brings. I never thought I'd have a provision story, but now I do. AND it doesn't stop there.
The next week I went to my Peru meeting to find out another person had provided me with $250 for the trip. It wasn't even someone who I know super well. I was becoming more and more confident that I'm supposed to go on this trip.
The next week a friend gave $365, another friend gave $60 and yet another $200. Yes, that means in the course of ONLY 2 WEEKS I went from having $100 for my trip, to having $2060 (and the trip cost was only $1800). Thus, with the $200 I got to bless another team member.
And I thought the Lord wouldn't provide. What was I thinking.
Now I'm leaving for Peru in the morning, I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store.
